Tao's Brother

Beastmaster Episode Review

In which Tao needs new family.

What Happened

A new Eiron leader is organizing Tao's people against the Blood Priests. Tao desperately wants to be part of the fight, but it is Dar who keeps running into the new guy. Because if Tao ran into him, they'd immediately recognize each other as the "new guy" is Tao's brother Kim.

Everyone is also interested in stopping the progress of a new road Voden's men are building through the forest, and the warrior in charge is convinced that Dar trashed his supplies in the middle of the night. When Arina takes Dar and Tao into custody, someone tips off the Blood Priests. Fortunately, by the time they get there, Kim has turned up, given Tao a wedgie, and set them loose.

Kim wasts no time playing the melodrama card, telling Tao that their parents were among the first killed by Maloc and his Priests. Tao willingly joins the attack against Maloc, but when Kim viciously stabs Maloc to death, Tao is horrified. Arina is fine with the change of power, especially after Kim promises to provide men to help build Voden's road.

Dar walks out when Tao counsels compromise, but Tao later sees just what it is costing when he realizes that Voden's men are using the Eirons as slaves. When Dar returns, pissed that the road's progress is killing the animals, Kim has him arrested as a troublemaker.

Kim threatens to sacrifice Dar, but Tao interrupts. In the fight scene that follows, one of Voden's men takes aim at Tao, but Kim jumps in front of the arrow. Convinced by Tao to help out, Arina tells Dar that she has had her fill of tyrants and plans to leave Voden's service.

What We Learned

  • Eirons like to talk.
  • You can't fight your enemy in anger, not matter how just your cause.
  • Voden's road will change the face of the world.
  • An Eiron with the courage to fight is a rare thing.
  • Arina is sure King Voden doesn't care what the Eirons do to each other.
  • Self enlightenment is how you change yourself. Changing the world requires power.
  • Tao always had a way of complicating things.
  • One thing that always counters power is surprise.
  • A wise leader knows that fear is not his enemy.
  • It's only the good that people remember. The rest just goes away.

Best Lines

Tao: "Did you tell him about me?"
Dar: "Oh, he didn't ask."

Kim: "So, how long has Dar been taking care of my little brother." Oh there are so many places to go with that.

What Did I Think?

Points for Steve Bacic. I just wish they hadn't waited to the back half of the episode to put Tao and Kim in the same scene. It was more than a little contrived that Dar kept saying "my friend," instead of just calling Tao by his name. Of course, if he mentioned Tao by name, then everyone would have known what was going on thirty minutes earlier...

Golgotha

Beastmaster Episode Review

In which there are giant crocodiles. Really.

What Happened

Dar and Tao rescue Marika, a woman being attacked by a crocodile while swimming in the river. Her village elder is thrilled to see the Beastmaster, hoping that he can talk some sense into the animals who keep eating villagers in the night.

Dar doesn't think that the crocodiles are to blame for the missing villagers and - whatdoyouknow? - Tao sees man-shaped creatures kidnapping a woman. Searching the jungle for clues, Dar is found by the "phantoms," dragged to a sacrificial glade and tied to a post.

The Old Crocodile who shows up to eat Dar tells him that there are no more fish in the river. The crocodiles are starving and that's why they are feeding on humans. Promising to do something about that, Dar learns from Tao that a dam built by the village is trapping all the fish upstream.

While Dar is tearing down the dam, Marika's fiance Karpen takes her and Tao to be sacrificed. Upset because the village was turning away from the Old Gods, Karpen was using the crocodile attacks to increase his power among the young men of the village.

Despite the appearance of Iara, who tells him to let the villagers destroy themselves, Dar releases the river and then swims down-stream in time to rescue Tao and Marika.

What We Learned

  • If there is even the slightest possibility that a killer monster is wandering around, don't go swimming.
  • Grown men should not be required to wear silly hats of leaves and feathers.
  • Iara said nothing helpful.
  • That Old Crocodile likes Dar, and he doesn't like much.
  • For creatures with brains, human certainly don't use them.
  • This whole "guardian of nature" bit gets tired after a while.
  • Walking to your death? Spend the time filling the audience in on your tangled love life.
  • Not much in this world lives, unless something else dies.
  • Religion is Eeeeeviiiil.
  • Tao knows the crocodile almost killing him wasn't personal.
  • A river may change, but it's still a river.

What Did I Think?

It's a giant crocodile story, what can you expect?

Watching: Glee

Home (R)

Wow, does it hurt to watch Kurt flailing around in the throes of his crush on Finn. He's just so eager.

Bad Reputation (R)

Much can be forgiven with a great rendition of Total Eclipse of the Heart. Big "awwww" in Rachel's general direction.

As an aside, Finn is generally regarded as a bit dim, but in both episodes he totally calls out Kurt and Rachel on their actions and articulates exactly why it was so hurtful. He gets that Kurt is feeling left out and hurt by his father's bonding with Finn. And he nails Rachel for wanting to seem sought after and popular. I seem to recall a couple of other places over the course of the series where he displays an real emotional insight. It's so refreshing to see a TV character not get away with thier justifications as someone simply steps up with, "No. What you were really doing was..."

Gone

Beastmaster Episode Review

In which someone thought they were being clever but really weren't.

What Happened

Dar saves "Tasmanian" tiger from being hunted by a man named Kaleb, who blames the beast for the deaths of his wife and children. Even though Dar goes out of his way to keep both Kaleb and the "Tasmanian" tiger from getting hurt, Kaleb insists on getting them all in trouble with King Voden.

With some help from Arina, Voden is capturing animals in the hopes of luring Dar to their rescue. He finally captures Dar, who rejects Voden's offer of an alliance. You know... Dar just doesn't want to help Voden take over the world with the help of his animal friends.

Kaleb finally twigs to the fact that Voden's Nords slaughtered his family and helps Dar free the "Tasmanian" tiger. Then, he and the "Tasmanian" tiger wander away together, each the last of their kind.

What We Learned

  • Dar talks to animals, birds, and sometimes a few humans.
  • Regretting your stupidity all too late, it's a common trait in humans.
  • Tao's father was a carver; he doesn't know what happened to him, but carries a wooden figurine he made for remembrance.
  • Dar's staff was passed through generations. The history of his people is written on it.
  • What you do returns to haunt you.
  • Tao understands that he isn't really as useful as a pair of ferrets.
  • Arina vowed vengeance against Zad, but now understands that she is bound to "a greater evil," in Voden.
  • Dar doesn't have pets. (Except for Tao.)

What I Couldn't Figure Out

  • How can the animal be a "Tasmanian" tiger? This is a fantasy world. Tasmania is a place on Earth. Named for a real live (well, now he's dead) guy named Tasman.

What Did I Think?

I can see that the "Tasmanian" Tiger would die out and become extinct, but couldn't Kaleb go find another wife? Was he non-human or just from yet another slaughtered tribe? Let's face it, if he and his wife and his kids had been the last of a species, they would be extinct in a generation anyway, wouldn't they? That's not to say he can't be sad about his family, but this whole lone survivor last of his kind thing just sets my teeth on edge. Melodrama much?

Heart Like a Lion

Beastmaster Episode Review

In which there is much laughter.

What Happened

Dar has a dream of an enchantress seducing Tao, but is distracted (!?) by the plight of a lion cub who claims that his mother has been captured by the evil Arkon. Or maybe he just figures Tao needs to get laid. While Tao is off trying to find some drugs for his killer back pain, Dar takes the cub and goes looking for the lioness.

At Arkon's camp, he meets Breon, who is the only one of his people who sees Arkon for the power-mad, creepy guy he is. That has a lot to do with the fact that Arkon is about to choose Breon's girlfriend to be one of his "priestesses." None of the other villagers seem concerned by Arkon's taking their daughters, or by his seriously bad eye-shadow.

Tao is approached by the enchantress Layla, who leads him around for a little while, until he guesses that she's trying to use illusions to control him. (No. I don't know why she'd bother.) When he laughs at her, this breaks the illusion. Finding Dar, he shares his new method of defeating evil and Dar is able to use it against Arkon.

Egged on by Dar, all the villagers realize just how silly Arkon's little face fur is and start laughing, freeing themselves from his control.

What We Learned

  • Tao thinks, therefore he hurts.
  • Purple herbs like the shade.
  • What we need and what we want aren't always the same thing.
  • Perhaps if Tao didn't carry around so much crap, his back would not hurt so much.
  • In Tao's hands, Dar's staff weapon is... a waste of time.
  • The strongest illusions can be broken by laughter.
  • Arkon's rather slow on the uptake. I would think he'd notice Dar's staff weapon and know that it's him pretty much from the start.

What Did I Think?

Nice idea, but suffers in execution. Can it be that no one had actually laughed at Arkon before this? The clothes alone make that unlikely. And how did Breon become immune to his illusions? And why did Layla waste all that time on Tao?

Emmy Response (Whee! Glee!)

For all the television I watch, I don't usually watch the Emmys. Or the Oscars, Grammys, Kids Choice, or Peoples Choice - which famously voted Titanic the Best Movie of the Year, two years in a row. (I also do not watch Titanic.) But the 62nd Annual Primetime Emmys were last night and I want to note some of the winners:

Actor in a Comedey - Jim Parsons – Big Bang Theory

We always knew Sheldon was cool.

Supporting Actress in a Comedy - Jane Lynch – Glee

"You're resentment is delicious." Indeed.

Outstanding Directing for a Comedy Series - Ryan Murphy – Glee – Director’s Cut (Pilot)

A musical on TV? Amazing what he pulled off.

Outstanding Guest Actor in a Comedy Series - Neil Patrick Harris - Glee

Because somebody needed to give Neil Patrick Harris a statue. He is also the coolest winner in the room because he has worked with Joss Whedon. Just sayin'.

Coupling: Jeff vs Oliver

One of the TV storytelling cliches that I keep tripping over is "The Big Swap." That's where you leave a show for the summer and come back and that quirky supporting character you knew and loved has been supplanted by some loud pushy blonde. Now, that's not exactly what happened here, but it does qualify as a swap: Jeff is out, Oliver is in.

Now, having come to Coupling so late, I pretty much took it as it came. There was no use for me to get upset about Jeff not appearing in Season Four. It happened long ago and far away. Wikipedia puts it down to Richard Coyle not wanting to come back, but there's not a lot of detail there. Perhaps I should poke around for some dirt. Or perhaps - disappoint I know - there isn't any.

That's not to say I don't appreciate Jeff or notice the difference between him and Oliver. Jeff has a unique mania that Richard Coyle somehow manages to get across without a blithering descent into shrieks and flutters. He is - as Steve put it in the pilot - completely tasteless. And yet completely adorable at the same time which is an accomplishment, considering that the subject matter could have gone to a number of disturbing and nasty places. Jeff honestly thinks you need to know what an "unflushable" is.

The biggest difference between him and Oliver is that Jeff is convinced he is useless to women and is therefore cutely surprised to discover otherwise. Oliver suspects it, but covers with bravado and convinces himself he has a chance. Where Jeff hangs back, Oliver is out there giving it his all, "a cross between a puppy and an idiot." Poor guy. I suppose he should get credit for trying.

I didn't object to Oliver in principle or merit. He lacks Jeff's odd flair, but that would be true of anyone. The real test is whether Oliver brings anything of his own to the table? Unfortunately, the answer is "not really." I mean he is there when they needed a sixth person. And the show wisely does't contrive an old friendship, nor does everyone gush over how cool he is - a key indicator that the writers are desperately trying to sell me on something. Oliver is and remains something of an outsider and it helped make him more palatable.

So I suppose I have to wonder how things would have gone with Jeff in Season Four. Would Tamsin have been replaced by a pregnant Julia? Would Jane have wound up naked in his living room? That last is hard to say. They do fake us out regarding Jane in "Perhaps, Perhaps, Perhaps." On the other hand, that was all there was in three seasons. The show would have had to really work to earn a Jane-Jeff hookup in six episodes. Oliver's final two episodes with Jane work really well and I would have really like them if they'd aired as just her picking up a new guy. At the tail end of Season Four, however, it was a little too late to really make Oliver the focus and the scenes in the series finale are - rightly - more about Jane than Oliver.

On a final note, I wasn't entirely sold on the dream-version of Jeff that they conjured up for Steve. The idea of Jeff in the body of Steve's old grade school teacher is that sort of thing his brains would serve up in a stressful situation, but actress didn't quite get the body language and vocal pace down. There were moments, but as a whole, it was just kind of "off." I do like that they addressed the issue and acknowledged Jeff as Steve's best friend rather than just pretending he wasn't important. So many shows just breeze forward, leaving beloved but gone characters in the dust.

White Tiger

Beastmaster Episode Review

In which Dar is always losing something.

What Happened

Iara decides to make her move against Curupira and Dar. She offers to transform Curupira's white tiger into a human if he will kill for her. The tiger stalks Dar while Iara summons up a mist in the Mydland forest and begins luring Dar's friends into it. First Kodo and Podo vanish, and then Ruh. Tao becomes convinced that he's next.

Curupira goes to the Sorceress for help, but finds her imprisoned in amber by the Ancient One. Fearing Iara, Curupira makes Dar promise to protect her animals if Iara succeeds in destroying her. Curupira also tells Dar that Iara has lied to the white tiger. If he tells the tiger the truth, the tiger will not kill him.

Dar confronts the tiger and persuades the animal to trust him, but it is too late: Iara has imprisoned Curupira beneath the water and taken control of her domain. Iara releases Dar's friends, telling him that she has what she wanted and can wait for him to love her.

What We Learned

  • If you can see through your fear, then you're fine.
  • Tao and Dar are travelling to the middle of the middle of the world, where demons are friendlier.
  • Death is always waiting in the future. Until it isn't.
  • Tao's always getting frozen by things.
  • Dar is human, but that's not his fault.
  • Dar is glad to see Curupira is having fun while something's trying to kill him.
  • A Sorceress is not supposed to have a heart.
  • Dar is human, but that's not his fault.
  • Dar is always losing something.

Best Lines

Dar: "It's Curupira."
Tao: "What does she want?"
Dar: "Probably to yell at me."

What Did I Think?

Nice idea, but that long dull talky bit in the middle drags it down.

Coupling vs Friends: Characters

The six character - three men - three women structure is so familiar on sitcoms, that it is a little unfair to use it as a reason that Coupling and Friends are similar. But like I said yesterday, the comparison really does lie more in how the characters seem to spend most of their waking hours talking about their love lives. Aside from that, the biggest element of each show, at least at the start, is the central romance of two characters and how it affects the people around them.

Steve/Susan vs Ross/Rachel

Of course, the premiere couple on Friends was Ross and Rachel who spent a great chunk of the series apart. Coupling put their couple together and left them there. You might say that Friends thinks love and romance are about getting into the relationship but Coupling thinks love and romance are about being in the relationship. On the whole, Ross/Rachel were more of a fairy tale romance wwith Ross winning over the girl of his dreams who "discovered" that her true love was there all the time. Steve and Susan were far more pragmatic; there were no bells ringing out and dramatic audience "aw!" when they made it official.

I wasn't exactly devestated when Ross and Rachel broke up. For one thing, they'd been playing the unreasonable jealousy from Ross long enough to make him a complete tool. And they pulled out the help I can't balance my career with my family crap. (The Meatloaf Theory. As in, "You were late to dinner and now the meatloaf is ruined." Though how you ruin meatloaf I cannot imagine.) Getting them together was standard sitcom fare; so was breaking them up. On the other hand, the actual episode where they broke up is stellar and one of my all time favorites. They do a great job of balancing the comedy and the drama on a level that Coupling never even tried to do. Ross and Rachel tear into each other. Steve and Susan just sort of snipe a bit.

Steve and Susan's breakup felt like it was tacked on to generate a bit of suspense between seasons. On the plus side, the rest of the episode "The End of the Line" was fantastic. Pure farce, building to a climax complete with an ending full of doors slamming open as the entire cast winds up piling into the living room Noises Off style. Really though, it was less of a breakup and more of a quarrel that ended with Susan walking out.

And the reconcliation wasn't as strong. Susan just sort of folded and I was never sure what her epiphany regarding Steve was aside from the fact that he left cute drunken voicemail messages for her. Not that we needed to wallow in melodrama, but if you are going to go there, then pay it off when you do. "The End of the Line" has humor, style (the time shifting), and emotional resonance. "Split" - to me - lacked the sharp humor, didn't work the gimmick as well as it could have, and squandered the emotions.

On the other other hand, Friends dragged Ross and Rachel out for years. Years, people! By the time they wandered back towards each other, I had long since stopped caring. And the surprise baby did not help.

Sally/Patrick vs Monica/Chandler

I thought Monica/Chandler was more of an honest surprise when they pulled it out. Sally/Patrick was kind of coming from the beginning and they had tried to hook up previously with mixed results.

Monica and Chandler have more depth to the relationship, but that is mostly because they have more time and focus. In a way, it might be better to compare them with Steve/Susan, because both couples get together and stay rather than playing out the will they/won't they of Sally/Patrick and Ross/Rachel. But this is already horrifically long, so I will let you guys fill that in.

Chandler doesn't quite match up to Patrick, of course, who maps closer to Joey. (Or to toss out something else I won't follow up on, Ross kind of gives off that Smug!Patrick vibe sometimes, doesn't he?) Chandler and his fumbling really is more of a Steve. Ah, the fumbling. The need to have the most basic of things explained. The reliance on friend's perspectives to tell them what they thought. And - of course - the redemption through the management of a good woman.

Monica, however, is definitely a Sally in the anxious personality and determination to get a man. Of the women, Monica was the out-there-looking character, complete with self-esteem issues with her weight (like Sally's worries about her age).

Jane vs Phoebe

Phoebe is quieter in her oddness and it is a less self-serving kind of weird. Jane's insistence that other people rearrange their lives to accomodate her delusions is her defining characteristic and they often take it farther than is realistic. Self-absorbed is one thing, but at a "real people don't act like that" level, she'd have been ditched or arrested long ago if she'd done all those things.

Both characters occasionally get left out and have to have external things going on to give them story. Phoebe's family gives her the most definition, something Jane lacks. Phoebe also gets the only permanent external love interest (a new character, not coming from within the group). New guys don't last long on sitcoms. They change the sit. On the other hand, for sheer "Oh no you didn't," nothing tops Jane.

Jeff vs Joey

They don't really match, do they? Apart from being the only ones left, there's really no connection there.

Joey is like Patrick in that one of the main character traits is his endless success with women. Joey is nicer than Patrick, with more of a dimness to Patrick's disdain for mere mortals and their subconscious. Joey also seems less of a goal keeper than Patrick, who struck me as scoring women out of habit or boredom or because that's what he thought people expected of him. There didn't appear to be a genuine interest in the women or in the sex for that matter. Joey enjoys his hookups. Patrick enjoys talking about them to his friends.

When you get down to it, Jeff stands alone. He's a little Chandler (hapless) and little Phoebe (odd one out, has all these theories about life), but something all his own because of the sheer depth and inventiveness of his self-sabatoge and imagination.

Next up: Coupling's big switch: Jeff vs Oliver.

Rage

Beastmaster Episode Review

In which Voden needs new family.

What Happened

Bahktiar, an athlete in Xinca, challenges Dar to fight. When Dar wins, Bahktiar becomes enraged and runs off. Seeing Bahktiar jump over the city wall, Dar follows, but is confused when the man's footprints become a puma's.

Back in Xinca, Voden introduces Tao to his mother, who has refused for years to speak to anyone. When the princes were children, a cruel Voden teased his brother mercilessly until she pleaded with the Ancient One, a former love, to save her child.

Despite the Ancient One's warnings, the Sorceress intervenes and turns Bahktiar back into a man. He explains to Dar that he was cursed to become an animal whenever his rage overcomes him. Dar promises to help Bahktiar free his mother from Voden, which is pretty much just what he does.

The Ancient One, meanwhile, announces that he's tired of the Sorceress poking her nose where it doesn't belong and seals her in pillar of amber to think about what she's done.

What We Learned

  • These are times that try our very souls.
  • With emotional pain, it is talking that draws out the poison.
  • Voden's present company doesn't exactly excel at the art of conversation.
  • Self control is master of ability. Make a man lose control and you become the master.
  • The Sorceress is not a child, but she is acting like one.
  • If you fall, it's forever.
  • Fools talk. The wise listen.
  • Voden always has a better idea.
  • This isn't very fair at all. He's got that big metal knife and all Dar has got is his tiger.
  • It is fair in Voden's world.
  • Tao intends to talk more often.

What Did I Think?

More backstory on Voden. Wish it were more interesting, but I guess you can't have everything.

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