Pilot

All Souls Episode Review

In which I will never eat Chinese take-out ever again.

What Did I Think?

Note: This show aired years ago and I'm pretty sure only I knew it was on (which would likely be why it was canceled), but here's the write-up anyways.

I didn't expect much. I mean, this is UPN and we do have Aaron Spelling to thank for Charmed. That said, this episode spooked me.

I think that whoever directed this one understood one of the key things about ghost stories: it isn't what's in front of you that is scary, it's what you see out of the corner of your eyes. Sure, you screech when something jumps out at you (okay, I screech when something jumps out at me), but really spooky stories sort of stick around after the episode is over.

The characters were pretty basic. Good doctor, kindly nurse, computer geek, David Hemblen (who's pretty much shorthand for creepy older white male), mysterious Brit and slutty blonde. And the plot elements, like his father's death and Mys Brit (dressed all in white) being the only one on the board that is in the dark about what's going, are hardly original. On the other hand, I am glad to see those set up in the pilot, considering the continuity-free zone that Charmed is and apparently always will be.

In the background, however, lurk the ghoulies. It was really effective when the lunatics started whispering in the shadows while Dr. Grace and the slutty blonde were having sex. Instead of wasting precious plot time going into a long explanation, however, they became part of the place; they were just kind of there and that made them - and the hospital - even more creepy.

This scene does bring up the difference between spooky and gross. She must have been possessed. I mean, elevators are one thing, but people don't actually choose to have sex in old operating theaters in the basement level of a nuthouse. All I can say is I hope that gurney was the sort without wheels on it, or getting up on it must have been interesting. That would have been fun to see... but not so much conducive for the spooky atmosphere.

And the thing with the fried rice turning into meal-worms. I knew it was coming, but ew. EwEWew. And just so we're clear: ew.

Also effective was the creepy orderly who carried patients away to the bowels of the hospital. Unlike other flunkies who kiss up to the Big Bad or fling unfunny remarks at the Hero, this guy slithered around doing nasty things, almost wordlessly. Very boogeyman-like, the way he just snatched people away, preying on the fact that they were helpless and lost in the big corridors, totally at the mercy of the hospital staff. And he's still floating around...

You know, I hate to admit it, but one thing Buffy has never done is spook me. Joss Whedon has fascinated me, surprised me and moved me, but I think that the fact that his hero gets to look her monsters in the eye and beat the crap out of them keeps the creeps from lingering after the credits roll.

It was the lady with the baby carriage that creeped me the most. Something about the all in black and the wispy veil floating here and there. Suddenly, I become really aware that I have curtains just like that and if I leave the window open, they're gonna waft over the bed... and we're closing the windows.