Golgotha

Beastmaster Episode Review

In which there are giant crocodiles. Really.

What Happened

Dar and Tao rescue Marika, a woman being attacked by a crocodile while swimming in the river. Her village elder is thrilled to see the Beastmaster, hoping that he can talk some sense into the animals who keep eating villagers in the night.

Dar doesn't think that the crocodiles are to blame for the missing villagers and - whatdoyouknow? - Tao sees man-shaped creatures kidnapping a woman. Searching the jungle for clues, Dar is found by the "phantoms," dragged to a sacrificial glade and tied to a post.

The Old Crocodile who shows up to eat Dar tells him that there are no more fish in the river. The crocodiles are starving and that's why they are feeding on humans. Promising to do something about that, Dar learns from Tao that a dam built by the village is trapping all the fish upstream.

While Dar is tearing down the dam, Marika's fiance Karpen takes her and Tao to be sacrificed. Upset because the village was turning away from the Old Gods, Karpen was using the crocodile attacks to increase his power among the young men of the village.

Despite the appearance of Iara, who tells him to let the villagers destroy themselves, Dar releases the river and then swims down-stream in time to rescue Tao and Marika.

What We Learned

• If there is even the slightest possibility that a killer monster is wandering around, don't go swimming.
• Grown men should not be required to wear silly hats of leaves and feathers.
• Iara said nothing helpful.
• That Old Crocodile likes Dar, and he doesn't like much.
• For creatures with brains, human certainly don't use them.
• This whole "guardian of nature" bit gets tired after a while.
• Walking to your death? Spend the time filling the audience in on your tangled love life.
• Not much in this world lives, unless something else dies.
• Religion is Eeeeeviiiil.
• Tao knows the crocodile almost killing him wasn't personal.
• A river may change, but it's still a river.

What Did I Think?

It's a giant crocodile story, what can you expect?