Old fashioned syndicated action show with a promordial fairy tale vibe that stood out when compared to Hercules and Xena. Worth a watch, especially the early episodes. Unless you have a problem with ferrets.
Old fashioned syndicated action show with a promordial fairy tale vibe that stood out when compared to Hercules and Xena. Worth a watch, especially the early episodes.
I have a personal fondness for the first season, which was less pedestrian than later years. On the other hand, if you've got no patience for spending half an episode following a tiger around the jungle, then you might prefer the third season, which had a very defined arc story with a strong beginning and end.
In fact, each season stands on its own, sometimes rewriting its own history from one year to the next. It was almost like three different shows that happened to have the same cast and crew. Very strange.
Starring Daniel Goddard, Jackson Raine, Monica Schnarre, and Stephan Grives.
Primordial fairy tale about a man who can talk to animals. And who does he talk to? Well, there's his tiger... and his ferrets.
Dar searches for a way to rescue his true love Kyra.
In which we meet Dar.
Dar saves Tao and Ruh from the Terrons, asking Tao to lead him to the Terron camp where King Zad is holding Dar's love Kyra. Observing their progress, the Sorceress decides that she'd like to have Dar's ability to speak with the animals and interferes in his rescue attempt.
Good enough beginning to the series. There used to be a very primordial atmosphere to the show that made it stand out a bit from the rest of the pack.
Dar makes another attempt to rescue Kyra from Zad. It's gonna take awhile.
An escaped Teron slave offers to help Dar rescue Kyra.
In which Dar needs new friends.
Dar and Tao's nature lesson is interrupted by a Terron hunting party running down what they think is an escaped slave. Akili turns out to be a Terron warrior, however, who has fled because he fell in love with one of King Zad's favorite slave girls.
Dar offers to help Akili, if Akili will help Dar save his love Kyra at the same time. Tao argues against trusting Akili, but Dar is determined. They make their way through the jungle along a dangerous path, past a Spider Witch set by The Sorceress to protect the Terron camp.
The Sorceress indulges one of her whims by offering one of the girls, Shiloh, a chance to be free. She sends Shiloh to ask Kyra about Dar, winning from her the knowledge that Dar lives in the Mydlands. The Sorceress rewards Shiloh by turning her into a bird.
Observing the magic, Dar assumes that Shiloh was Akili's love, but Akili sets him straight: he's in love with Kyra. Well, that's awkward... Shouting that only one man can have her, Akili attacks Dar and the fight draws the guards, who capture them both.
The Terrons think that would be fun to set Dar and Akili on each other in a fight to the death. Dar pulls out his trusty Quick Like a Snake moves and wins. The Terrons, who are obviously not that bright, give Dar his weapon back, but he refuses to kill Akili and turns on the guards instead. Wounded, Akili tells Dar to go and find Kyra.
Too bad, the Sorceress intervenes. Luring Dar away, she uses her magic to make the Terron camp disappear.
Over in the other plot, a slave and animal trader named Baha kidnaps a tiger cub, drawing Ruh into a hunt. Baha has a score to settle with Ruh, the tiger that killed his son. His grand revenge plot to kill Ruh's cub doesn't work so well and Baha winds up mauled, his leg chewed off by his foe.
Good performance from Keith Hamilton Cobb, with a twist at the end.
Proof that Tao should not be allowed to wander around on his own.
Seeking to continue his journey, Tao gets into trouble in a superstitious village.
In which there be monsters. Which is why you should not go there, you know?
Tao leaves Dar's camp to continue his journeys. When he arrives a new village, however, they recognize him as an Eiron and add him to a boat taking prisoners to an island inhabited by freaky bat-creatures who kill all who are left there.
An average plot, but there are so many elements here that got lost later on, like, say, during most of season three?
So instead of waiting around for Dar to rescue her, Kyra runs away on her own. She does get a bit lost on the way, but it's a good effort.
Kyra escapes the Terron camp and searches for Dar.
In which Kyra gets away.
Kyra flees King Zad's encampment, but even as she and Dar reunite, the magic of the Sorceress and the Ancient One reach out to separate them forever.
You didn't think she and Dar would be allowed a couple happy episodes, did you?
Yes. Emilie de Ravin used to be even tinier than she was on Lost.
Dar recalls an encounter with the demon who made him the Beastmaster.
In which we meet Curupira and Dar needs a haircut.
Dar and Tao find a young boy in the forest. He describes the murder of his father and the other hunters of his village by a demon. Dar thinks that Curupira, the guardian of the forest animals and the demon who gave him the ability to talk to animals, is to blame.
Curupira claims that the hunters were killing her animals indiscriminately, taking more than they needed. He convinces Curupira not to kill the child, sending him back to the village to explain that they must follow Curupira's rules in order to the hunt within her forests.
Curupira: "You only ask for impossible things."
Dar: "That's because you can do impossible things."
Curupira was cool. Too bad she ran off to Roswell. (And then got Lost.)
Okay. I'm gonna get all girly with the unicorns here, but this really is one of the better episodes.
King Zad schemes to steal a unicorn's horn from a small kingdom.
In which there are unicorns.
Zad conspires with the Chancellor of a small kingdom to steal the unicorns that protect the Royal Family. The touch of a unicorn horn cures any wound and he's got plans for world domination, you know. His hunters kill one of the beasts, and the Chancellor tells his Princess that Dar and Tao are to blame.
The Sorceress is surprised when Sharak visits her cavern. He brings her some of the unicorn's blood, warning her that her creations are in danger. Turns out, Sharak is sorcerer turned to an eagle by the Ancient One as punishment for loving the Sorceress. The Ancient One transforms Sharak back into a human for a few seconds to gloat that he and the Sorceress will never be together, then makes him a bird again.
Dar and Tao escape being boiled in oil and find the Princess just as the Chancellor tries to kill her. The Princess explains that the unicorns are magical creatures that were sent after a great sickness. Tracking down the captured unicorns before they can be delivered to Zad, Dar rescues the animals.
Realizing that the unicorns will never be safe on Earth, the Sorceress transforms them into stars and sets them in the heaven.
This is one of my favorites. I love the fairy tale vibe.
In which there is Grace Jones. And I think that's all that needs be said.
Dar is targeted by a fierce hunter.
In which there is Grace Jones.
An elephant stampede leads Dar to a pair of animals, slaughtered by a single hunter and left behind with their hearts cut out. Tao thinks that this was the work of an Umpatra warrior. As Tao is describing the Umpatra culture (they must make a kill each day or lose a finger joint), a demon appears in flame and light and predicts that Dar will be next.
The demon Ketzwayo promises Nakinja that killing Dar will give her the powers of the Beastmaster. She promises that he'd better be right, or she'll be hunting him next. Dar escapes her first attack, only to run straight into Curupira. She is, as one may guess, in a very very bad mood.
Dar finds Nakinja's campsite, but she is off capturing Ruh and Sharak. Curupira, meanwhile, argues with Ketzwayo, who laughs and calls her "funny feet." He threatens to destroy all her animals, but promises that he will leave the Mydlands if Dar can defeat his warrior.
Curupira summons the Ancient One to talk to him about Ketzwayo. The Ancient One tells her that, like all demons, Ketzwayo is protected from harm as long as he possesses the soul of a human. Curupira guesses that if Nakinja dies, she can destroy her nemesis.
Nakinja leads Dar and Tao to her field of battle, where she holds his animal friends in cages. Ketzwayo welcomes them and keeps Tao from interfering in the fight scene. When Dar tells her that her strength comes from Ketzwayo's magic, however, Nakinja is dishonored and takes her own life.
Fleeing, Ketzwayo runs straight into Curupira, who sucks the life out of him.
Like Tyra brings her own wind, Grace Jones brings her own Drama.
Fun with Curupira. She has a little too much fun with the big threats. There's such glee to it.
The Apparition's battle against Curupira makes Dar a target.
In which there is no singing. Thankfully.
Curupira's enemy, the demon Ketzwayo, is brought back to life by the Apparition of the Burning Forest.
Ancient One: "Thank you for your opinion, Curupira, but you don't make the rules." He is so snark.
Fun, though the "animals turn against Dar" story-line could have been a represented by something stronger than some stock footage from National Geographic.
Kids these days. You can't trust 'em. Second you turn your back, they are plotting to take over the world using magic powers stolen from a nymph.
Tao is transformed into a child after drinking from a magic spring.
In which there are children.
Dar and Tao spot a little girl running through the forest and go after her. They find a collection of very odd children playing around a fountain. They claim they haven't seen the girl (Muraki), so Dar and Tao wander away.
Muraki is being chased by a warrior and his flunky, who are after the nymph guarding a magical spring. The warrior kills his flunky and steals the nymph, just before Dar and Tao arrive. Tao drinks from the spring and is turned into a twelve-year-old boy.
While Dar goes after the nymph, Tao is captured by the children, who are all adults transformed into kids. Muraki tells Tao that if someone solves the riddle written in the nymph's cave, the spell will be broken. The other kids decide that it would be dangerous to them for Tao and Muraki to leave, so they'll kill them instead.
Dar rescues the nymph, then finds Tao and Muraki and saves them from the Firey Teeter-Totter of Doom. Just as the children attack, Tao solves the riddle and breaks the spell.
The Sorceress/Ancient One/Zad part is more interesting than the catatonic nymph and the bratty little kids. I'm still fuzzy on how the leader of the pack was planning on ruling the world as a child.
Don't think about this episode too deeply. It makes no sense and is mostly just an excuse to saddle Dar with a random blonde.
A young woman cursed by the Ancient One targets Dar.
In which Dar has crap taste in women.
A young woman cursed by the Ancient One is training a wolf to kill a "man in the shadows," a figure of evil whose death represents her freedom. When she meets Dar, Zuraya believes that he is her enemy and blames him when a slaver captures her friends.
A little padded in places, yet still lacking in pertinent details. Such as how and why Zuraya got cursed in the first place?
Worse. Prison. Ever. Everyone was just wandering in and out. Zad could have left the door unguarded and fed his beast on people dumb enough to go exploring.
Zad begins demanding a tribute to his Minotaur.
In which there is a monster.
Zad announces that the local villages will sacrifice five men and five women each month to his new pet: the Minotaur, a gift from the Ancient One. His Terron warriors are also out scouring for monster-bait, and they snatch Tao and dump him into the labyrinth.
Dar manages to follow Tao in. While the interested Sorceress looks on, he finds and frees a young woman named Melora, who tells him that the Minotaur is not evil. A miserable half-beast, he is cursed with the desire for human flesh. Deciding to intervene, the Sorceress appears to Dar and promises to help him if he will bring the Minotaur to her.
Also trying to get his hands on the Minotaur is the slaver Baha. He stops them in the forest, threatening to kill Melora if Dar doesn't tell the Minotaur to come with him. The Sorceress appears again, transforming the Minotaur into a man and sending him to safety with Melora.
After sending Baha back to his empty life, the Sorceress promises Dar that they will meet again and vanishes.
Another example of shifting around airdates: Last episode, in "The Slayer," Baha talks about Zuraya, mentioning that Zad once requested "An angel from the heavens." In this episode, we hear Zad derisively telling Baha that he doesn't need shiny stones, but perhaps Baha can find him an angel.
The Minotaur is not at all what's expected. Unexpected is good. The biggest problem are all the scenes of Tao whirling around at sounds the audience can't hear, looking at empty tunnels the Minotaur is definitely not popping out of. Not interesting.
That, and the fact that I never could figure out how Dar was getting in and out of the labyrinth past the world's most idiotic guards.
Zad overcomplicates his life once again. Don't look too close at the magic baby.
Zad asks the Sorceress for a way to discover a baby fated to destroy him.
In which there is a baby.
Dar and Tao find a baby by the river's edge. They return the child to a Mydland village, but one of the men snatches it and runs off.
King Zad has had a nasty nightmare about a child who will grow up to unite the tribes and destroy him. He asks the Sorceress for a way to identify and destroy his new enemy. She creates a mystical mobile. When the child from King Zad's nightmare gazes on it, the Shadow of Death will appear and warn the King. In order to find his adversary, Zad offers a ransom for any young child or babe in the Mydlands and has them all brought to his camp.
(Why not just take the mobile to the babies, which would involve far less excitement? Never mind; answered my own question.)
Chiron takes the missing child to the Terrons, spooked by the fact that the baby will change color to camouflage itself. The baby's parents, as well as Dar and Tao, chase after him and rescue the baby. After saving the baby from the Shadow of Death, Dar and Tao find and free the other children from Zad's clutches.
Typical "save the baby" episode. As usual, the most fun comes from seeing Zad, the Sorceress and the Ancient One interact.
When you think about it, the baby didn't have to be magic in order to play its part in Zad's story. Something makes me suspect they wrote to the special effect on that one. ("Look! Look what I can do in Photoshop!")
A bit cluttered, but with some clever twists by the end.
Zad demands that Dar communicate with a strange woman.
In which Zad is sneaky, but Dar is sneakier.
Zad invades a city, but the only sign he can find of its ruler is a silent woman with gills on her neck. He decides that he needs the Beastmaster to talk to her and asks the Sorceress for help tricking Dar into a trap.
Even though he knows Zad won't follow through on his promise to release Kyra, Dar goes into the city with Tao. After getting proof that Dar isn't a Terron, the woman introduces herself as Atlantia. The prince Zad seeks is a myth, used to distract others from the city of peace under the sea that Atlantia is building.
Dar lies to Zad that the prince will be returning at the full moon and then fights his way free. Atlantia returns to her people, and the Sorceress, who observed everything, laughs as Zad goes off in the wrong direction.
The brutal fight scene between Dar and Zad in the middle caught me by surprise. The whole tone of the episode changed.
Things to avoid on television: birthday parties, weddings, graduations, parent-teacher conferences, manhood ceremonies...
Dar visits Kyra's home village and uncovers old secrets.
In which Dar needs new friends.
Dar and Tao go to witness the manhood ceremony of one of Dar's old friends. Afterwards, Tusi's father feels the need to tell Tusi what really happened to his mother years ago: she drowned and her sister took over raising Tusi. The young man is upset and runs off, accidentally witnessing a murder while wandering around the jungle.
The killer spots Tusi and chases him over a cliff, where he falls to his death in the sea. Investigating, Dar goes for a swim and runs into a dolphin, who turns out to be Tusi's mother, transformed by the Sorceress' magic. Sanu explains that her son has been similarly transformed and they are now the tribe's protectors.
Dar manages to trick the killer into revealing himself, and when Gilan tries to escape in Tao's sailboat, he falls overboard and is killed by Suna and Tusi.
Tao: "It's amazing what you can learn from someone everyone thinks is crazy."
Dar: "True. It's amazing what I've learned from you."
Tao: "Yeah. ... Huh?"
Good story with interesting guest characters. I would have like to have learned more about the Sorceress' interest in all this, and more than just a throw-away line about Kyra's past, but I guess you can't have everything.
Sharak gives Dar a run for his money in the shirtless department.
The Ancient One demands that Sharak rescue the Sorceress.
In which Sharak is human.
The Apparition of the Burning Forest turns out to be a former student of the Ancient One. She lures the Sorceress to her cave and imprisons her, so the Ancient One turns Sharak back into a human and sends him to rescue his former lover.
Sharak turns to Dar and cajoles him into helping him find his way through the Burning Forest. The Ancient One distracts the Apparition long enough for Sharak to find the Sorceress and carry her to safety, but turns back him into an eagle before she awakens.
Tao: "I've been thinking..."
Dar, to Sharak: "He does that a lot. I don't mind."
Ancient One: "Nothing has changed. Nothing ever will change, unless I permit it."
Too much going on. And with such a juicy potential in the forwarding of the Sorceress-Sharak story.
I would love to gush about Marton Csokas, but I was distracted by Garuda and his parachute pants. Putting the lame back in lamé.
Prince Garuda order Dar to retrieve his treasure from King Zad.
In which there are parachute pants.
Dar is attacked by Prince Garuda, who accuses him of losing a Golden Urn that was entrusted to the Sulas. Garuda is the son of the sun, and needs the urn to complete his reincarnation. The Urn was stolen when Dar's tribe was massacred and has fallen into the hands of King Zad's duplicitous war-chief, who is summoning up the nerve to plot rebellion against his king. Dar gets it back and returns it to Garuda, who immolates himself then is reborn as the Golden Phoenix.
Zad: "At times my ardor overwhelms me."
Sorceress: "Is it bothering you especially today?" She sounds like she's asking about his hemorrhoids.
Average episode balancing politics in Zad's kingdom with a mythic adversary for Dar to contend with. It's tough to take Garuda seriously in htat outfit, but Marton Csokas as Kord is his typically effective warrior thug.
It's all creepy with the potential incest, but in a good way.
In which there is a monster.
Sherak spots a slave girl running from the Terrons and alerts Dar. He and Tao find what's left of two soldiers in the jungle, strangled by vines and burned to the bone by acid. Searching further, they meet a pair of twins, Gem and Nye, who invite them to dinner. Ignoring Ruh's objections, Dar agrees, but is disquieted by the twins' mysterious connection.
The next morning, the twins are gone. Dar and Tao rescue Adrana, and she tells them of an evil in the jungle before leaving to warn her village about the Terrons. Ignoring Dar's offer to escort her, Adrana runs straight into Gem and Nye, who tie her to up to play bait for Dar and Tao.
Guessing that the twins are controlling the vines, Dar and Tao split up to deal with them. Tao charms Nye and creates a rift between her and her brother. During the fight, Nye is hit by the acid inside the vines and dies.
Gem lies down next to her and dies as well, but the Sorceress, bitter that the Ancient One stole her unicorns from the sky, transforms the twins into a new constellation.
Creepy twins. Nice stuff for the Sorceress and the Ancient One, as usual.
Fun. Fun. Fun. As Dar finally gets it together and finds Kyra.
Dar rescues Kyra. Zad faces a rebellion amongst his men.
In which Kyra gets away. Again.
In between his yammering about fate, the Ancient One frees Kyra and gives her back to King Zad. While Zad is distracted by Kord's potential rebellion, Dar sneaks into the Terron camp and frees his lost love.
Great rescue, particularly the scenes after Tao's capture.
Alas. Poor Kyra. She seemed nice enough but as soon as she started talking kids, I knew it was over.
Dar and Kyra are caught up in Kord's rebellion against King Zad.
In which Kyra wins a Darwin Award.
Kord's rebellion against King Zad continues. When he goes to kill Dar, however, Kord winds up sinking a knife into Kyra's back instead. Dar goes looking for Kord, but Zad gets there first and spares Dar the emotional burden of having committed cold-blooded murder. Strangely, the Ancient One sends the Sorceress to revive Kord and send him off to a land far away to continue his story.
The "Kyra dies" thing is totally predictable, but the second half of the season finale is fantastic.
It's a whole new season arc, but we do get to see a bit of Zad and Curupira in between the parts where Tao falls over.
Dar and Tao encounter a mysterious woman as they battle to save a village from King Zad.
In which Tao falls on his head and we meet Arina.
Tao is captured by Manlinks, ape-men who have moved into the Mydlands from the Frozen North. Also new in the area is the warrior woman Arina, who helps Dar find Tao and Tor, a captured friend of hers.
Because he blames the Manlinks for the deaths of some of his men, King Zad attacks their tree-top home. Everyone is able to escape when Curupira shows up, annoyed that Zad is burning down her forest to smoke out his enemies.
The Manlinks move on, but Arina and Tor remain, scouting the land and peoples in advance of their ruler's army.
"This is a strange world. We have a lot of work to do to make it ours." Almost makes me curious to find out what happens next.
When Tao gets turned into a pig, Dar has to charm a possessive demon named Iara. He fails. Miserably.
Dar and Tao meet the demon Iara.
In which Tao has crap taste in women and gets turned into a pig (not a metaphor).
Dar and Tao go in search of a village's missing men, who went off "chasing Shark Women." They find themselves on an island populated by the sort of women who only show up in fantasy shows and swimsuit calendars. The women are ridiculously pleased to meet Dar and Tao and claim that the men from the village returned home weeks ago and must have perished on the reefs.
The women's leader/guru is Iara, a slinky femme who takes a definite interest in Dar. She does take the time, however, to turn Tao into a pig. Apparently, she turns all the men into pigs unless they are warriors who can breed with her quasi-amazons.
Despite Curupira's petulant warnings, Dar insists on figuring out what happened to Tao. The Sorceress tells him that Iara is a demon, like Curupira, and reveals Iara's true form, that of a snake. Dar decides to trade himself for the freedom of the other men, and the Sorceress and Iara get into a knock-down, drag-out fight over who Dar belongs to.
When Dar wakes up, Iara tells him that Dar's goodness has changed her; she has freed the men. She hopes that in time he will return her feelings. Dar buys that, because he's not that bright, collects Tao and the villagers and sails away.
Watching him go, Iara and the Sorceress affirm their bargain: after the Sorceress has learned the secret of how to talk to the animals, Dar is Iara's to do with as she pleases.
Curupira: "I'm about as scared of her as I am of you, so could you... get out of my tree?"
Iara has grown on me over time, partly in comparison to Marc Singer in Season Three.
You'd think someone who could see the future could see how dull this episode was going to be. (Yeah I know. I'll be here all week.)
Dar aids a woman hunted for her prophetic powers.
In which there is a prophecy.
Dar once again comes to the rescue of someone running through the forest pursued by Terrons. The woman, Olwen, has the ability to see into the minds of others, making her a target for King Zad.
Arina is also after Olwen, and her pursuit of Dar and the woman attracts the attention of the Sorceress. The Ancient One refuses to tell her why Arina is following Dar, so she bargains with Zad to find out. Her faith is sadly misplaced; Dar knocks Zad on his butt and sends him home.
After persuading the Sorceress that she has no interest in Dar, Arina asks Dar to take her to Olwen, who sees her lover Matteus in Arina's mind. Olwen decides that Arina has been sent to guide her to safety. As they journey, however, Olwen realizes that Arina has lied to her and runs. Seeing what is happening through Sharak's eyes, Dar defeats Arina and sends Olwen to safety, guided by some tigers to keep her out of any more trouble.
Tao: "Thinking is a very serious business. If we didn't think, where would we be?"
Dar: "Walking."
Tao: " ... I can't believe you said that."
Olwen's story is told mostly via chirpy exposition from Olwen, who tries for knowing and mostly comes across as smug.
Arina's incredibly boring ex-boyfriend comes back. Okay, so it's a little cool that he comes back from the dead, but really...
Arina must choose whether to trust her former lover.
In which Arina has crap taste in men and Ruh is not a happy cat.
On a day when spirits are allowed to walk the Earth, Arina's lover Orpheo emerges from the underworld in search of her. At that point, Arina is helping Dar track down a black panther that kills for pleasure. Iara had ordered Dar to find out who killed one of her snakes, but is jealous of Arina's presence and goes to see the Ancient One for help getting rid of her supposed rival.
The Ancient One wathces gleefully as Orpheo tries to convince Arina to agree to be with him. Arina thought that Orpheo was killed in battle and is overjoyed that he has reapeared. He asks her to come with him to a place they can be together forever and she agrees.
What Orpheo doesn't mention is that for Arina to accompany him, she will have to take her own life. Arina resists, even though Orpheo tells her that he killed himself out of despair when he thought she was dead. Orpheo tries to drag her with him, but Dar prevents him. As the sun sets, Orpheo's strength drains away and Arina begs him to let her live. Desolate, he leaves her behind and disappears into the fiery mist.
It works as further development of Arina's character. It would work better if I cared, but there you go.
It's a "religon is bad bad I tell you" episode for Tao, while all the interesting stuff is happening to Zad.
The Ancient One warns that changes are coming to the Mydlands. Tao returns home.
In which Tao goes home and Zad gets his butt kicked.
Tao leads Dar back to the city of Xinca where he was raised, but they find it changed from what Tao remembers. There is a group of priests in charge who have chased the Eirons out of the city. When the High Priest Maloc learns Tao is an Eiron, he tosses Tao in jail and decides to have him executed in a couple of days.
Dar is helped by another Eiron named Caro, who shows him how to sneak in and out of Xinca. They rescue Tao and make their escape. While Caro decides to join her people in the mountains, Tao chooses to stay with Dar and figure out a way to liberate his home.
Elsewhere, the Ancient One teases the Sorceress that a great change is coming to the Mydlands. Arina shows the warrior Nords, led by King Voden, the way into King Zad's Terron camp and takes Zad prisoner. First order of business is for Voden to demand that Zad tell him where the Beastmaster can be found, but Zad is able to help with that.
The Sorceress frees Zad from his cell, telling him that the time of tyrants and vicious bullies is over. If he wants to survive in the future, he should learn a lesson from these events.
Sorceress: "You always tease me. I don't know why I bother to ask."
Ancient One: "Neither do I."
Big changes for King Zad. Madoc is something of a joke, however, making Tao's dilemma less intriguing than it could have been.
Tao gets all mopey until Ruh's dying mother shows up. She's a very inspiring tiger. It's all touching and stuff.
Ruh asks Dar for a personal favor. Tao is inspired to battle against King Voden.
In which Tao is bummed.
Tao is feeling bummed about the psychotic blood-thirsty priests who took over his home being kicked out by the slightly less psychotic King Voden and his Nords. Voden wants to make nice with Dar and thinks that they will get off on the right foot if he captures a bunch of tigers and forces Dar to come to Xinca and rescue them.
A tiger released from a pit trap turns out to be Ruh's dying mother Tiala. Ruh asks Dar to escort Tiala on her final journey, and he agrees. They are followed by Arina, who is sent along by Voden and saddled with a pushy flunky who picks fights with her.
The quest to guide Tiala inspires Tao to reconsider his goals in life. He decides to call together the scattered Eirons and try to find a way to retake Xinca. As Tiala dies, Voden catches up with Dar and Tao. In a show of good faith, he releases a captured Eiron and promises Dar he can come and go from Xinca as he wishes.
Tao: "I've been thinking."
Dar: "I will take that as sign you're feeling better."
Less melodramatic than the one-line synopsis would suggest. Voden is a very different kind of enemy for Dar.
Voden drags Dar into his family issues. Which are completely overshadowed by the latest showdown between the Sorceress and the Ancient One.
Dar offers aid to Voden's brother.
In which Voden needs new family.
Bahktiar, an athlete in Xinca, challenges Dar to fight. When Dar wins, Bahktiar becomes enraged and runs off. Seeing Bahktiar jump over the city wall, Dar follows, but is confused when the man's footprints become a puma's.
Back in Xinca, Voden introduces Tao to his mother, who has refused for years to speak to anyone. When the princes were children, a cruel Voden teased his brother mercilessly until she pleaded with the Ancient One, a former love, to save her child.
Despite the Ancient One's warnings, the Sorceress intervenes and turns Bahktiar back into a man. He explains to Dar that he was cursed to become an animal whenever his rage overcomes him. Dar promises to help Bahktiar free his mother from Voden, which is pretty much just what he does.
The Ancient One, meanwhile, announces that he's tired of the Sorceress poking her nose where it doesn't belong and seals her in pillar of amber to think about what she's done.
More backstory on Voden. Wish it were more interesting, but I guess you can't have everything.
Iara decides to get rid of Curupira and harrass Dar by summoning up a magic mist for his friends to wander around in.
Dar is caught in the crossfire when Iara moves to destroy Curupira.
In which Dar is always losing something.
Iara decides to make her move against Curupira and Dar. She offers to transform Curupira's white tiger into a human if he will kill for her. The tiger stalks Dar while Iara summons up a mist in the Mydland forest and begins luring Dar's friends into it. First Kodo and Podo vanish, and then Ruh. Tao becomes convinced that he's next.
Curupira goes to the Sorceress for help, but finds her imprisoned in amber by the Ancient One. Fearing Iara, Curupira makes Dar promise to protect her animals if Iara succeeds in destroying her. Curupira also tells Dar that Iara has lied to the white tiger. If he tells the tiger the truth, the tiger will not kill him.
Dar confronts the tiger and persuades the animal to trust him, but it is too late: Iara has imprisoned Curupira beneath the water and taken control of her domain. Iara releases Dar's friends, telling him that she has what she wanted and can wait for him to love her.
Dar: "It's Curupira."
Tao: "What does she want?"
Dar: "Probably to yell at me."
Nice idea, but that long dull talky bit in the middle drags it down.
It's the funniest episode of Beastmaster yet! Though, not exactly in the way they intended.
Dar tries to help a lion cub. Tao is seduced by a sorceress.
In which there is much laughter.
Dar has a dream of an enchantress seducing Tao, but is distracted (!?) by the plight of a lion cub who claims that his mother has been captured by the evil Arkon. Or maybe he just figures Tao needs to get laid. While Tao is off trying to find some drugs for his killer back pain, Dar takes the cub and goes looking for the lioness.
At Arkon's camp, he meets Breon, who is the only one of his people who sees Arkon for the power-mad, creepy guy he is. That has a lot to do with the fact that Arkon is about to choose Breon's girlfriend to be one of his "priestesses." None of the other villagers seem concerned by Arkon's taking their daughters, or by his seriously bad eye-shadow.
Tao is approached by the enchantress Layla, who leads him around for a little while, until he guesses that she's trying to use illusions to control him. (No. I don't know why she'd bother.) When he laughs at her, this breaks the illusion. Finding Dar, he shares his new method of defeating evil and Dar is able to use it against Arkon.
Egged on by Dar, all the villagers realize just how silly Arkon's little face fur is and start laughing, freeing themselves from his control.
Nice idea, but suffers in execution. Can it be that no one had actually laughed at Arkon before this? The clothes alone make that unlikely. And how did Breon become immune to his illusions? And why did Layla waste all that time on Tao?
It's like all "deep," you know. Like meaningful and stuff about the meaning of life and death and... yeah. I got nothing.
In which someone thought they were being clever but really weren't.
Dar saves "Tasmanian" tiger from being hunted by a man named Kaleb, who blames the beast for the deaths of his wife and children. Even though Dar goes out of his way to keep both Kaleb and the "Tasmanian" tiger from getting hurt, Kaleb insists on getting them all in trouble with King Voden.
With some help from Arina, Voden is capturing animals in the hopes of luring Dar to their rescue. He finally captures Dar, who rejects Voden's offer of an alliance. You know... Dar just doesn't want to help Voden take over the world with the help of his animal friends.
Kaleb finally twigs to the fact that Voden's Nords slaughtered his family and helps Dar free the "Tasmanian" tiger. Then, he and the "Tasmanian" tiger wander away together, each the last of their kind.
I can see that the "Tasmanian" Tiger would die out and become extinct, but couldn't Kaleb go find another wife? Was he non-human or just from yet another slaughtered tribe? Let's face it, if he and his wife and his kids had been the last of a species, they would be extinct in a generation anyway, wouldn't they? That's not to say he can't be sad about his family, but this whole lone survivor last of his kind thing just sets my teeth on edge. Melodrama much?
It's a "giant monster" episode, a "religon is eeevil" episode, and a "don't trash nature" episode. That's pretty ambitious.
Dar aids a village menaced by man-eating crocodiles.
In which there are giant crocodiles. Really.
Dar and Tao rescue Marika, a woman being attacked by a crocodile while swimming in the river. Her village elder is thrilled to see the Beastmaster, hoping that he can talk some sense into the animals who keep eating villagers in the night.
Dar doesn't think that the crocodiles are to blame for the missing villagers and - whatdoyouknow? - Tao sees man-shaped creatures kidnapping a woman. Searching the jungle for clues, Dar is found by the "phantoms," dragged to a sacrificial glade and tied to a post.
The Old Crocodile who shows up to eat Dar tells him that there are no more fish in the river. The crocodiles are starving and that's why they are feeding on humans. Promising to do something about that, Dar learns from Tao that a dam built by the village is trapping all the fish upstream.
While Dar is tearing down the dam, Marika's fiance Karpen takes her and Tao to be sacrificed. Upset because the village was turning away from the Old Gods, Karpen was using the crocodile attacks to increase his power among the young men of the village.
Despite the appearance of Iara, who tells him to let the villagers destroy themselves, Dar releases the river and then swims down-stream in time to rescue Tao and Marika.
It's a giant crocodile story, what can you expect?
Tao's brother shows up and turns out to be much cuter than Tao is. Not much brighter, of course, but one can't have everything.
Tao's brother leads a revolt against the priests of Xinca.
In which Tao needs new family.
A new Eiron leader is organizing Tao's people against the Blood Priests. Tao desperately wants to be part of the fight, but it is Dar who keeps running into the new guy. Because if Tao ran into him, they'd immediately recognize each other as the "new guy" is Tao's brother Kim.
Everyone is also interested in stopping the progress of a new road Voden's men are building through the forest, and the warrior in charge is convinced that Dar trashed his supplies in the middle of the night. When Arina takes Dar and Tao into custody, someone tips off the Blood Priests. Fortunately, by the time they get there, Kim has turned up, given Tao a wedgie, and set them loose.
Kim wasts no time playing the melodrama card, telling Tao that their parents were among the first killed by Maloc and his Priests. Tao willingly joins the attack against Maloc, but when Kim viciously stabs Maloc to death, Tao is horrified. Arina is fine with the change of power, especially after Kim promises to provide men to help build Voden's road.
Dar walks out when Tao counsels compromise, but Tao later sees just what it is costing when he realizes that Voden's men are using the Eirons as slaves. When Dar returns, pissed that the road's progress is killing the animals, Kim has him arrested as a troublemaker.
Kim threatens to sacrifice Dar, but Tao interrupts. In the fight scene that follows, one of Voden's men takes aim at Tao, but Kim jumps in front of the arrow. Convinced by Tao to help out, Arina tells Dar that she has had her fill of tyrants and plans to leave Voden's service.
Tao: "Did you tell him about me?"
Dar: "Oh, he didn't ask."
Kim: "So, how long has Dar been taking care of my little brother." Oh there are so many places to go with that.
Points for Steve Bacic. I just wish they hadn't waited to the back half of the episode to put Tao and Kim in the same scene. It was more than a little contrived that Dar kept saying "my friend," instead of just calling Tao by his name. Of course, if he mentioned Tao by name, then everyone would have known what was going on thirty minutes earlier...
In which there is a little Claudia Black. And just enough King Zad.
One of King Zad's new allies, Milosh, is off wolf-hunting, but all he catches is a little kid. Fortunately, Dar has heard the sounds of the hunt and is the credits and a commercial break away from showing up.
Dar saves the kid, calms the kid, and avoids being bitten by the kid. Milosh returns to King Zad, who tells him about the Beastmaster. Milosh announces that he'll kill Dar, and Zad doesn't try very hard not to laugh in his face. Huna, another of his guests, explains to Zad that Milosh killed the Chieftain of her tribe and tried to claim his place.
That night, while Tao and kid wait for Dar, a she-wolf shows up and leads the boy away. Dar guesses that the she-wolf is the little boy's "mother" and wonders if she can tell him where the boy came from. Huna tells that story when she runs into Dar: the little boy is Atticus, her son by the tribe's Chieftain and next in line to lead their people.
Dar talks the she-wolf into letting them see Atticus, and Huna bonds a little with her son. Even the wolf is making the aw-face when Zad and Milosh crash the party and the fight scene starts up. Milosh gets killed, and Zad decides to go because he knows it's the end of the episode. Reunited, Huna and Atticus travel away to safety.
Zad: "You have to love a man who gets it so wrong, so often, so predictably."
Much better than I expected from the "wolf-boy" preview. Claudia
Black gives a nice performance and holds her own in the scenes with
Steven Grives.
In which Dar saves folks.
Dar and Tao rescue one of those damsels in distress they are always stumbling across. (No, seriously, it's like there are hundreds of little villages that all produce at least one girl for Dar to save.) Lyca is on the run from her tribe of Lion People, followed by the leader of the pride, Navas. She is determined to choose her own mate and lead her own life, rather than have Navas decide how she will live.
As they flee Navas, they run into Zad, who wants Tao to make weapons for the army he has collected to attack Voden. Tao tells Dar to focus on getting Lyca beyond the Pride's territory while he stalls Zad. He eventually produces a metal sword for Zad, then takes advantage of their drunken celebration to escape.
Dar guides Lyca to the bridge marking the end of Navas' territory. When she asks him to come with her, he gently turns her down. Lyca grows angry and transforms before his eyes into a lioness. Navas appears and argues that Lyca will never find anyone in the outside world to accept her, but Dar insists Lyca make her own choice.
Lyca chooses to leave Navas and go off on her own, accompanied by the lion cub she rescued.
Tao: "Noble platitudes."
Zad: "Thank you."
Tao and Zad make this one. And though Lyca and Navas weren't that interesting as characters, the actors did good jobs with what they had. I was impressed by their body language and the man-lion movement they used.
In which there are special effects. And horsies!
A pair of archers drive Voden's horses away from his camp, angering him. He sends Hjalmar to find them, but they run into Dar first and he beats them up. Before Sagitto and Radia ride off, Dar realizes that he is able to communicate with them as he does the animals.
Determined to find out if they are also Beastmasters, Dar follows the pair. That night, he sees them merge with their horses and become centaurs: half-man, half-animal. They all make friends with each other the next day, but Hjalmar interrupts when he steals Radia and Saggito's horses for Voden.
The archers are devastated. If they are separated from their mounts for even a few hours, they will weaken and die. When Radia's mount is wounded, she feels the pain, so Dar and Saggito go to rescue the horses. Voden sees the archers becoming centaurs and wants to add them to his army, but Dar talks Voden's horses into throwing their riders as Radia and Saggito escape.
Not enormously interesting; this episode might have benefitted from a B-story to fill in the dead space.
In which Tao needs to stop poking things.
Tao accidentally on purpose frees a powerful being named Anubis from the rock face where he is imprisoned. The Ancient One is annoyed, after all the trouble he through putting Anubis away in the first place. He insists to the Sorceress, however, that they are not going to interfere in what is happening. The humans will just have to figure it out for themselves.
Anubis thanks Tao for setting him free in typical Bad Guy fashion: he turns Tao into a dog man. Iara begs Dar to retreat to her watery world, but he refuses. In between natural disasters, Dar tries to find a way to save his friend.
With Tao's transformation complete, Anubis orders him to attack Dar. However, he's made a slight miscalculation in turning Tao into an animal and sending him to kill a guy who talks to animals. Dar convinces Tao not rip his throat out and the friendship between them gives the Ancient One the chance he needs to return Anubis to his prison.
Ancient One: "What do you think would happen if the rain doesn't end?"
The Sorceress: "A world filled with fish?"
Ancient One: "And how would you feel about that?"
The Sorceress: "I like fish."
Ancient One: "Yes, but we are supposed to observe the measured unfolding of all life in balance."
The Sorceress: "And a world of fish would... tip the scales?"
As usual, the supporting characters steal the show.
In which Dar loses his powers and Iara has to apologize.
Upset when Dar turns down her advances, Iara sees him rescue Voden's general Yaomar from an injured tiger. Accusing Dar of caring more for humans than for her animals, Iara removes his power to talk to the animals.
The Ancient One realizes that the balance of their world has been jeopardized. On their way to talk to Dar, the Ancient One and the Sorceress peek in on Voden, who is sending Yaomar in search of ivory from the fabled elephant's graveyard. The Ancient One is concerned that the memory of how to make worlds will be lost if he succeeds.
Dar and the Ancient One have a little confab. If he passes three tasks, dedication, sacrifice and word of honor, Dar can have his powers back. Continuing on, they spot the tracks of the injured tiger and guess that this may be one of his tests.
Dar and Tao rescue a wildebeast from quicksand, passing the task of dedication. When they run across the rogue tiger again, Dar recalls that Curupira fed his body to the animals and guesses that it may have to happen again. Afterwards, he lies near death, but the Ancient One appears and uses the last of his strength to heal Dar's wounds.
Yaomar finds the elephant graveyard and starts loading up on styrofoam that is shaped like ivory. Dar leads the tiger into the graveyard, where it drives the Nords off. The tiger can spend the rest of its life feeding off the elephants who come there to die as the graveyard's protector.
His promise to the tiger kept, Dar regains his powers. "Seeking self preservation," the Ancient One goes in search of stronger magic so that he can avoid a repeat of the day's events, making Iara and the Sorceress promise not to cause any more mischief while he's gone.
Throughout this, Dar really just becomes even more Dar than ever, insisting that he's going to continue his mission to help the animals even without his powers. He is so accepting of what's happening to him, he even leaves it to Tao to ask whether there is a way for Dar to get his powers back.
Iara is the one who gets some character development as she moves from petulant anger, trying to force Dar to love her, then furiously taking away his gifts while claiming that she's doing it because he's failed to protect her animals. Her shifting attitudes while facing down the Ancient One eventually settle on very real fear when her powers fail.
Then, she has to do the unthinkable: apologize for her actions. Iara makes a persuasive case for her attitudes, explaining that her decision to take Curupira's place has had unexpected consequences. She doesn't know how to act and react in this world and mistakes the consideration Dar extends to all as a special interest in her.
In order to get his powers back, Dar has to undergo a trial. Typically, there's a body test (the wildebeast in the quicksand), a heart test (keeping his promise to the tiger), and a soul test which involves being willing to die (allowing the tiger to feed on him). The last two are far more interesting than the whole saving the wildebeest thing, which sucks up precious time.
I do wish Dar had a least one scene where he expressed just a little resentment over what Iara had done. Even though Tao is technically the big talker, Dar can and should say something here.
Given that they didn't even try to name it something else, I'm betting that they are going for the typical Monsters Attack! template. Dar and Tao will wander into town in the middle of a bird attack, investigate a little, meet the person controlling the birds but not realize it.
As she (we can see her in the ad) realizes that they are getting close, she'll take control of Sharak, Dar's eagle friend, and send him to kill Dar. There may or may not be a mention of Sharak's background as a sorcerer turned into a bird here; Dar doesn't know about it, and the Ancient One doesn't look to be available. Dar will eventually "get through" to Sharak and break the Bad Guy's control.
A big "Ironic" ending in this story model is often that the Bad Guy will get pummeled by her own creatures, so expect a scene of her shrieking as we get a starling-eye's view dive bombing her.
They find the two bird-hunters in the forest, instead of wandering into a town, but I was right about them meeting Aviana, the woman controlling the birds, and not realizing she was behind the attacks.
The thing that made me sit up and take an interest in this one was that not only did Sharak's past come into play, we got to see him in human form explaining it all to Dar. The writer took full advantage of the situation to have Sharak's struggle to break free of Aviana's control pop him back to being a man. (Nice chest, by way.) I really liked his conversations with Dar and wish they hadn't been so rushed.
The ending explanation of how/why he turned back into an eagle was pretty good, too. Faced with a choice between being a bird and going splat at the bottom of a cliff, I'd be a bird. They needed to do something about the blue-screen, however; the falling effect was kinda lame.
Iara remains an interesting character, though I would have thought she'd be able to kick Aviana's butt rather than get into a hair-pulling contest. And nice try from the actress trying to "charm" a bird into telling her who's controlling the birds. Slinking up to a parakeet cannot be easy.
In which it is again demonstrated that lost cities are usually lost for a reason.
Tao's old mentor Solon finds one of those Lost Cities with a Doomsday Machine that could Destroy the World. Unfortunately, he gets trapped inside with his two new students stuck outside, chased by Voden's men. Yaomar drags Rico back to Voden, who is looking forward to getting hands on the Doomsday Machine.
Loriel, meanwhile, finds Tao and Dar and leads them back to the cave. She and Tao go inside, where they find Solon has been bitten by a giant lizard and lies near death. Tao and Loriel figure out how to use the Doomsday Machine to heal Solon, but Voden has arrived.
Solon decides he has to destroy the machine before Voden can get past the giant lizard. Shooing Dar, Tao and Loriel outside, he sets it to self-destruct. Voden and his men run in one direction, while Dar rescues Rico.
The only cliche they missed was Loriel turning out to be Tao's ex-girlfriend and Rico her jealous new guy who betrayed them to Voden thinking that would win her back.
In which there is an evil adviser and a death match to the death.
Tao suggests that he and Dar avoid a nearby city, because he's heard bad things about it. Reportedly, the inhabitants of Chalka feed each other to tigers when they are bored. Queen Lyoka is having second thoughts about the casual murder of her subjects, but her adviser Dagin is all for it. When someone lets the Royal Tigers loose, he leads a hunting party out to catch some more.
They try to catch Ruh, but fail when a Chalkan named Nomar interferes. Dagin hauls Nomar back to Chalka, and when Dar finds out, he decides to go free Nomar as thanks for saving Ruh. He only manages to get himself caught, but uses the opportunity to try and talk Lyoka into letting the tigers go.
Zad, who's been hanging around trying to get Lyoka to give him men for his army, manipulates things so that it looks as if Tao and Dar are assassins. Dagin insists that they must go into the Game as punishment.
If you're on a winning team, you get to live another day. Knowing how likely Dar is to win, Dagin puts Tao on the opposing team, forcing Dar to choose between his life and his friend's. That so doesn't work. In the end, Dagin threatens to kill the Queen, but Dar knocks him into the tiger cage.
I'm with the tigers: let me out of here.
In which way too much interest is invested in Arina's bodily functions.
Tired of listen to Tao whine about how he has no direction in his life, Dar is happy to run into Arina. Unaware that she's being stalked by The Apparition, Arina's worried about her pregnant mare, who got left behind with Crazy King Voden when Arina left Xinca.
The Sorceress shows up to talk to the Apparition, who reminds her that they are both students of the Absent Ancient One. The Apparition asks the Sorceress to help her "protect" Arina, who has been impregnated by Orpheus ("Orpheo") and the Apparition wants to steal the baby.
Dar and Arina sneak into Xinca and rescue the mare. The escape attempt hasn't gotten very far when Tao notices the mare is in some distress. She's gone into labor, and to make matters more interesting, the foal is turned the wrong way.
The Apparition lures Arina away, offering to raise her child as a Grand Force for Evil. Arina refuses and runs, but Voden's Head Flunky Yaomar shows up and drags her back to Xinca. She tries to talk Yaomar into turning on Voden, but the Crazy King overhears and decides to be devious.
Voden tells Arina that she can earn her freedom if she kills Yaomar in single combat. Spotting Dar in the crowd, Arina refuses to kill Yaomar and gets thrown back in her cell, where Dar sets her free in seconds. Voden's troops start looking for them, but Yaomar finds them first. The whole Not-Killing-Him thing has made an impression and he lets them go.
While this has been going on, Tao has helped the mare give birth, with some moral support from the Sorceress. Having learned her lesson about being human for the day, the Sorceress protects Dar and Arina when The Apparition shows up again.
Just how little time has past since "Orpheo," which aired at the beginning of the season? Arina still as skinny as ever. Adding to the pointlessness of all this is the fact that the next time we see her, she's back to being not pregnant and the child is never mentioned again.
In which everyone runs around and then there is a big fight.
It's a game of Musical Hostages. Zad captures some elephants and Tao and threatens to kill Tao if Dar doesn't get the elephants to behave and knock down the walls of Xinca.
Then, Voden captures Arina and threatens to kill her if Dar doesn't keep the elephants from knocking down the walls of Xinca. Or he might kill her anyway, just for kicks. Dar doesn't know, 'cuz Voden's Just That Wacky.
In the end, Zad points the elephants in the general direction of Xinca, where they knock down the walls, protected from Voden's arrow by a mist conjured up by the Sorceress. Yaomar betrays Voden, who manages to escape, but runs afoul of Zad. The new King doesn't trust Yaomar not to betray him and kills the general, consolidating his control of Xinca.
Dar manages to free Arina, and they rescue Tao before Zad's men kill him. Despite having replaced one mad tyrant with another, Dar and his friends take some small comfort in Voden's defeat and the fact that they did save the elephants.
Interesting if you cared what happened between Voden and Zad. Less so if you're looking for character development for Dar.
In which they chuck everything they've built up to this point out the window and start over.
Dar is off to save someone when the World's Most Useless Spirit Warrior shows up. Now, this might have been an interesting idea, but they picked Marc Singer to play him for the sole reason that he played the Beastmaster in the Beastmaster movies and this somehow makes him special.
I mute the TV whenever he's on in order to spare myself the headaches his line readings and attempts to be "clever" always cause me, but his basic deal is that he is there to test Dar and lead him to new knowledge about his past. Apparently being Beastmaster and chief of the Sulas isn't important enough. Dartanus tells Dar that his real father was a great King named Eldar, who's so great and good that he was Lord of Darkness Balcifer's mortal enemy and was especially targeted by King Zad in his conquests.
Eldar was so great and good that even though all of this happened only about a generation ago, Tao has never heard of him. Tao. The guy who lives for this stuff. Who grew up in what was supposedly the best city ever to live in to learn about folklore and history. Who wanders the whole world going, "Yeah, I've heard of them" every time they go into a village or run into a warrior.
Never heard of Eldar growing up. Or during his travels, which apparently weren't that far, really as the world has shrunk again and King Zad can make a day trip to the Sorceress' mountain from Xinca - which had originally been so far away Dar didn't know where it was, but is now right next door.
(The Sorceress has been released from her amber cage, by the way, and taken up black leather as a fashion statement.)
I'm hating this already.
Anyways, Dar's Great King Father lost his final battle with Zad and hid his family away in order to protect them. Dar, the youngest, was given to the Sulas, along with Eldar's sword. Every so often when Dar swings his staff, the sword appears in its place all shiny and sharp and everyone goes, "oooh."
Because even though last season, the Nords were so cool for bringing metal to the Mydlands or the Downs or where-ever the hell they are these days. And Zad had never seen metal weapons before and needed to learn how to make them. He just conveniently forgot that Dar's Great King Father used to use the same kind of weapons. Of course, he also forgot to mention for two years that he'd sold his soul to the Lord of Darkness. Perhaps he had other things on his mind.
Balcifer now insists that Zad has to kill Dar - the last bastion of Goodness - before he gets his immortality and power and whatnot, so off Zad goes to destroy him. And that's the set-up for the season.
Sorceress: "You asked for me, as part of the deal? Should I be flattered?"
Zad: "I would be."
Tao: "Did the beggar actually say to go down into the catacombs?"
Dar: "It was more like a hint."
Tao: "Hint? Shouldn't we have a higher standard for risking our lives?"
I don't know what to do about Marc Singer.
Everyone I mention him to seems to just love the guy, but whenever he talks, it's like nails down a chalkboard for me. And then? There's his need to "set" himself before every line: hip hip shoulder shoulder chin pose pause and then speak. Why does he do that?
In which Dar needs new family.
King Zad goes on a rampage, trying to destroy every trace of Dar's father King Eldar. His entrance into a nearby village prompts Breon and Rhana to run, each carrying half of a tablet entrusted to them by followers of Eldar. Breon gets away, but Rhana gets captured by Zad.
Rhana manages to stand up to Zad fairly well, but eventually tells him about a temple built by Eldar that is out in the desert. Dar finds Breon's half of the tablet, but Breon dies on the way out of Xinca, and Dar is forced to rely on Dartanus for guidance to the temple.
Dar rescues Rhana from Zad. The restored tablet tells about a nearby cave, where Dar finds a crystal pyramid with animal symbols on the sides. Dartanus tells him that Eldar turned his wife and children into animals and hide them from Balcifer and Zad.
If Dar manages to find them, he can keep them safe inside the ark until Balcifer is defeated.
In terms of this particular episode, Rhana held her own against Zad, but on the other hand, we had to put up with whiny Breon... and Dartanus.
On a larger scale, we have to set-up just how Dar is going to get his family back, and I suppose this episode does that well enough. I have to wonder, however, why Zad is so hell-bent on destroying all signs of King Eldar's rule when everyone's been wandering around for two years without hearing so much as a whisper of his name. Wouldn't Tao already know about things like a great honking temple to King Eldar? This is his own backyard, after all?
In which Dar needs new family and Tao is a hero.
Dar and Tao are off searching for the latest member of Dar's family, the tiger that may be his sister. Unfortunately, Zad has had the same idea and sent his hunters into the Uplands to kill her.
They manage to hit her with a poisoned arrow, causing Orpheo to take some time from stalking ex-girlfriends and show up to guide her spirit to the afterlife. Because that's his job now, apparently.
The Sorceress tells Dar how he can be mostly dead for a day and save his sister's spirit, so he takes a field trip. The afterlife seems oddly empty considering all the people who have dropped dead on this show, but Dar finds his sister, explains that she's been a cat for a while, and convinces her to return to the land of the living.
On their way out, they are confronted by Orpheo, who challenges Dar to a fight. Dar has plenty of time to kick Orpheo's butt, as Tao and The Sorceress have smashed the antidote and have to scurry around making up a new batch. Tao gives Dar the antidote, somehow reviving the sister in her tiger body as well.
Confusing. Dull. I didn't care about Orpheo the first time around and his sudden upgrade to gate-keeper of the underworld didn't help.
In which the ferrets have dialogue.
The Sorceress and the Apparition get into a fight over which of them should be Balcifer's favorite, though why the Sorceress cares isn't explained. Balcifer is still in a snit over Dar, who is off helping defend a village of Tao's friends from a group of barbarians called the Rogan. It is decided that whichever woman gets Dar to abandon the village can claim victory.
The Apparition is sure that Dar can be turned by envy and/or lust, like any man. The Sorceress decides to appeal to his virtues, but explains that thinking as "Dar can be convinced to put his own interests before that of Tao's friends," which isn't really that different than the Apparition's theory when you think about it. The Sorceress offers to help Dar find his family, but if he doesn't leave, he will die in the barbarian attack.
Dar remains and continues to train the villagers. The Apparition puts her own plan into action by increasing the numbers of Rogan into a horde, the leader of which offers to spare the village if Dar leaves. The villagers fight back and the Apparition's illusion is soon revealed. The false Rogan vanish and the rest run.
The Sorceress suggests to the Apparition that she might offer to find Dar's family, and while she's distracted, turns Kodo and Podo into humans so that she can question them about Dar and what he cares about. She persuades them that they need to convince Dar to leave the village.
Kodo and Podo prepare to tell Dar that his pet ferrets are in danger, but the barbarians attack first. When the villagers win, the Apparition kidnaps Tao as bait to force Dar to leave. Kodo and Podo tell Dar what is happening and he confronts the Sorceress. With Sharak to back him up, he is able to guilt her into helping him.
The Sorceress concedes the competition and asks the Apparition what she's done to Tao. While Arina and Kodo and Podo (now back to being ferrets) save Tao, the Apparition goes to the village to gloat. Dar pops out of a house and warns her not to get ahead of herself, prompting Balcifer to remove her powers as punishment for failing.
I never liked the Apparition, so her going away was fine with me. It was kind of odd that the Sorceress, having rid herself of the Ancient One, would be so gung ho to become Balcifer's flunky, but she got over it, so... whatever.
In which there is monster. And a goat. And when Dar steals the monster Yamira's goat, she threatens to turn him into a really studly statue until the Sorceress intervenes to demand that Yamira instead give Dar the chance to save the goat.
In which there is monster. And a goat.
Irina finds Dar's goat... um, brother. Dar sends Irina back to Arakan with the goat, while the villagers whine about this demon Yamira who will be super pissed if the goat goes missing.
Yamira appears on cue and starts turning people to stone. She's just about to make Dar a really studly statue when the Sorceress appears. Turns out Yamira was the one who blabbed to the Ancient One about the Sorceress and Sharak, so the Sorceress has a bit of a bone to pick here.
In the interests of filling the hour, Yamira is allowed to set Dar three tasks and if he fails, she can have the Sorceress' powers. If Dar succeeds, he can have the goat and all the stoned villagers will be set free. While Dar is hustling around performing tasks, Yamira sends her men after Irina and the goat. They aren't making very good time, thanks to goat boy dragging his feet.
Feeling that The Sorceress is cheating by doing all Dar's thinking for him, Yamira tries to kill Sharak and the Sorceress tries to stop her, only to find that her powers are fading. Yamira puts the Sorceress in a cage and tells Dar to free her from the Dangyan, without the help of his animal friends.
The Dangyan eventually lumbers out of the surf for the fight scene, which ends as expected. Dar frees the Sorceress, but Yamira breaks her promise and turns Irina to stone. By reflecting her stare back at her, however, Dar turns Yamira to stone and breaks the spell on everyone.
Irina: "Why couldn't you be an only child?"
Not bad. Zad and the Sorceress were always my favorites.
In which things finally start winding down on the Dar finding his family and Balcifer trying to destroy him front. On the plus side, even though Dartanus reappears and keeps yapping, someone totally gets to beat him up.
Zad captures the Golden Auryx, the final member of Dar's family, prompting a showdown with Balcifer.
In which things finally start moving forward.
Dar and Arina finally find the Golden Auryx, the bird that is Dar's mother. Dartanus appears, still spouting platitudes about Dar's quest and warnings about Balcifer. Tao is able to put a few more details on Dartanus' unhelpful hints. Apparently, three signs will signal Dar's final challenge: the House of Eldar will turn against itself, the good shall become evil, and finally, Balcifer will fall.
Dar's brother Sendar turning against him (two episodes or so back) was one sign, and when Balcifer possesses Arina here to trick Dar, it is sign number two. Balcifer reveals himself and is able to snatch the Auryx, even though Dar drives him from Arina.
Dar guesses that Balcifer will have taken the Auryx to Xinca. He decides to save some time by taking the Ark to her. While he does, Balcifer possesses Tao and delivers Arina to Zad. Dar makes his way to the throne room and finds the Auryx... and Balcifer. The Lord of Evil offers Dar a peaceful kingdom in Xinca if he will leave the rest of the world to Balcifer. Dar refuses, even after he learns that Zad has found the Crystal Ark.
Dartanus frees Tao and Arina, who join the battle against Balcifer. While Dartanus distracts Balcifer, Dar places his mother in Ark, which emits a beam of light. Rather than use the power to free his family, Dar chooses to save Dartanus' life. He strikes Balcifer, who falls, completing the final sign.
If only they hadn't dragged Dartanus into it. On the other hand, it was fun to watch Jeremy Callaghan beat him up.
In which everything comes to an end.
King Zad makes a final assault on Dar's village Arakann, egged on by Balcifer, who demands that Zad find the key to opening the Crystal Ark before Dar does. Dartanus points out to Dar and Tao that the moon is out of alignment and predicts that if they cannot release Dar's family before an eclipse, Balcifer will rule all.
Dar and Tao journey to the grave of Dar's father, where they find the key, a ring buried with him. Too bad Zad has been lurking in the bushes; he picks a fight and snatches the ring away from Dar. As Dar pursues him, Balcfier appears. Balcifer decides to cut his losses where Zad is concerned. Taking the ring, he dumps Zad into a big fiery hole.
Balcifer strides into Arakann, determined to find the Ark and destroy it. He is attacked by Dartanus, who, as usual, gets his butt kicked. Again, Dar keeps Balcifer from killing Dartanus and engages Balcifer in a sword fight. He bests Balcifer and reclaims the ring. By placing the ring on the Ark, Dar frees his family and traps Balcifer within the Ark.
His quest over, Dar journeys with his family to a new kingdom to rule in peace.
If "Life is what happens when you're making other plans," why have they spent the entire last season running around following instructions in a book of prophecies so that Dar can fulfill his pre-decided destiny?