The Freckle, the Key, and the Couple Who Weren't

Coupling Episode Review

In which Jeff needs to know how long intestines take.

What Happened

Steve worries that he's developed a mole on his rear. Susan doesn't seem to care - being more concerned when Steve informs her that she is freckled... in a region... she can't quite see.

They go off to the bar, where everyone is quickly distracted by Jane's new boy, "the vicar who doesn't have sex." Worried that James might pop in the wrong direction, Jane asks a baffled Susan to be a little less perfect. As James meets Jane's friends, a panicked Jeff rushes in - he's swallowed something valuable and needs to know "how long intestines take." The fact that he is wearing a leather mask indicates that he and Julia were not just having a quiet night in front of the television.

He seems to have swallowed the key to the cuffs he used to attach Julia to the bed.

The night gets worse when her old boyfriend Joe shows up. Joe finds Julia on the bed and demands the key. Jeff tries to explain that he's lost it and Joe lunges for him. Julia orders Joe to get lost as Jeff "finds" the key. Jeff releases Julia, who explains that her relationship with Joe was rather complicated. She sends him home for the moment while she goes to find Joe.

Discussion of Steve's mole leads to the revelation that James is familiar with Susan's freckles - crushing Jane and upsetting Steve. James has to explain to Jane that he wasn't always religious. Then he tells her that he'll be leaving town for a bit. Maybe they should think things through.

What We Learned

• Susan has freckles she doesn't know about.
• If you could see yourself from this angle, you wouldn't need a relationship.
• Jane's breasts scare Susan. They are like Mickey Mouse's ears. no matter what direction she faces, they are still looking at you.
• That's not a useful place to have a good side.
• Normally has never been used in that sentence before.
• The longer a man doesn't see a woman naked, the more he turns into a giant hoover pig.
• Susan has unexpected depths.

What Did I Think?

The problem with all this is that no matter what Julia says about Joe not being as bad as he seems - he seems like a raging monosyllabic asshole. So why does poor Jeff wind up dumped?