Inferno

Coupling Episode Review

In which Patrick will confuse lesbians with his haircut.

What Happened

Steve is perturbed when he comes home to find Susan tidying up his flat. As he explains to Jeff and Patrick, he worries that she may have tidied her way into his collection of dirty movies. (We'll say that so as not to get listed on the wrong Google pages. Though I imagine that the next sentence will blow that one.) The tape he left in the VCR was labelled "Lesbian Spank Inferno."

Upset about Steve and Susan, Jane goes to see her therapist, Jill. Having decided two months ago that she's no longer treating Jane, Jill sends her packing. She can't truly handle Jane, however, and finds herself accompanying her to Steve and Susan's dinner party. Discussing the matter, Steve and Susan decide that Jill must be Jane's date. Next thing you know, Steve's having an absurd conversation with Jill, babbling how Jill (as a lesbian) has the best of both worlds - she has four breasts. And may possibly be a cow.

Dinner is uncomfortable enough before Jane moves from taunting Jill for her vegetarianism to accusing Steve of "using pornography." When Steve tries to claim Lesbian Spank Inferno is erotica, Susan challenges him to describe the plot. He tries spinning the tale of a collective of lesbian filmmakers - independent filmmakers anxious to avoid the studio system - who have a competition to make the best film. The winner gets a a kind of trophy (three speeds) and the loser gets a spanking.

Then, they all decide that they want a bit of a spanking.

Steve finally erupts that he likes naked women. And even if he does want to spend the rest of his life with Susan, he still likes looking at naked women.

"You want to spend the rest of your life with me?" she asks as Jane pouts.

What We Learned

• Tidying isn't true love. Oral sex is.
• Steve does not keep a self abuse log.
• Neither does Jeff.
• She comes once a week whether you want her to or not.
• Jane is not exclusively vegetarian.
• You tend to fast forward when people are dressed. Jeff sometimes does that with normal movies.
• All men hate "The Piano."
• Four pillars of men: Naked women. Stockings. Lesbians. Sean Connery Best as James Bond.
• When man invented fire, he didn't say "Hey, let's cook." He said, "Great! We can see naked bottoms in the dark!"

Best Lines

Jill: "You think I develop extra breasts when I'm excited?"

What Did I Think?

Ah. Poor Steve. He is just wrong on so many levels.