John Quixote

Farscape Episode Review

In which virtual reality is never a good idea.

What Happened

Chiana picks up a virtual reality game on a trading mission and manages to trap herself and John inside it. John is annoyed when he realizes that these are his memories defining the game environment. An image of Stark appears; he sold the memories of the Talyn!John Crichton to the game designer.

The goal of the game is to kiss the Princess and avoid the Ogre. They run into versions of the crew and battle past them. (What they do to Rygel is indescribable.) John and Chiana manage to find an exit and leave, returning to Moya to find that Scorpius has escaped.

Scorpius takes over the ship and gains mental control of all the crew, but when Aeryn suggests running away together, John knows something is wrong. Then, he finds one of Stark's tokens in his pocket. He's still in the game. Deciding that there's nothing left to do but kiss the Princess, John starts playing. Along the way, he learns that he's been wandering around with the game's version of Chiana, while the real Chiana is being held by D'Argo. John and Chiana fight their way past the Ogre, Harvey and Stark. When he kisses the Princess Aeryn, however, nothing happens. John's been looking for his princess, when it is Stark's princess he needs to find.

John finds Zhaan, frees her from Stark's madness, and kisses her, releasing himself and Chiana from the game.

What We Learned

• Pods do not fly themselves.
• Brain damage and death are very rare.
• John has a list of reason why he shouldn't like any of this.
• Try the other luma.
• Chiana is too bony, probably tastes like fish.
• Aeryn's Georgia accent is about as bad as John's Sebacean one.
• The second boot to the head convinced John otherwise.
• John's species has a brutal flair.
• Seemed like a good idea at the time.
• John is far too sick to be allowed to run free in the universe.
• All John's days are interesting.

What Did I Think?

Not much of a game, with only Chiana's fate a twist.