A Kiss is But a Kiss, pt 1

Farscape Episode Review

In which Crichton and Aeryn pretend they don't care.

What Happened

Moya flies past a group of Sebacean Colonies that set up their own empire between Peacekeeper space and an area controlled by hideous toothy creatures called Scarrans. John, who has been rejected by Aeryn, especially enjoys the local customs. In order to choose a mate, they kiss each other after tasting a substance that will turn sweet if they are genetically compatible.

And so it is that John, who is not particularly looking for trouble, gets caught up in a inter-galactic incident: he kisses the Princess Kartala and is revealed to be genetically compatible. This is an issue because Kartala's DNA was poisoned, leaving her unable to mate with any other Sebacean. Without a mate and the possibility of children, she can't assume the throne, something her younger brother and his Scarran sidekick are thrilled about.

They decide to kill John as quickly as possible.

Facing an arranged marriage, John runs down all the reasons this won't work. They don't know, love, or even like each other. He's not Prince Regent material. He doesn't say outright that he really wants Aeryn, but he does notice that Kartala is in love with Counselor Tyno. And apparently, once they are wed, John and Kartala will spend eighty years as statues standing in the Senate chamber learning about government. It's a bad idea all around.

The Empress can't stomach the idea that her idiot younger son would inherit, however, and comes up with a compelling argument in favor of marriage. She tells John he can choose Kartala, or be handed over to Scorpius, who has just arrived, eagerly looking forward to another crack at the wormhole equations in John's head.

With Moya having vanished as soon as Scorpius' cruiser arrived, John's escape options are zero and he agrees to marry the Princess. That's when the Prince sends him an early wedding gift: four assassins.

What We Learned

• John was lips. Aeryn was tongue.
• You would have to be on John's side of his life to see how insane that is.
• There's always one in every family.
• It wasn't Aeryn's door Crichton was last seen sniffing under.
• Some women would consider that a compliment.
• Some women have to.
• He's the opposite of King Arthur. He's the one who can put the sword into the stone.
• On John's world, you don't marry people you don't love unless they are critically ill billionaires.
• She anticipates sturdy grandchildren from John.
• Better wed than dead.
• Moya has eight senses.
• John'll miss the strippers on his hundredth birthday.

Best Lines

Scarran: "I don't believe I've had the pleasure."
Aeryn: "Yes, I've heard that about Scarrans."

What Did I Think?

Solid start.