Lava's a Many Splendored Thing

Farscape Episode Review

In which there is an unscheduled rest stop.

What Happened

One of Noranti's snacks makes everyone sick, forcing an unscheduled rest stop on a planet comprised mostly of lava. The hole Rygel finds contains boxes of treasure and medicines, which Rygel pokes, setting off some booby-traps and locking him, Noranti, John and D'Argo inside the cave.

When the owners of the boxes come back, Noranti recognizes them as Tarkons, interstellar charity workers who smuggle food and medicine to war-torn planets. She swears these freedom fighters are heroes, but the fact that they start shooting makes John and D'Argo pretty sure she's wrong about that.

Sikozu tries to power up the ship. Needing some of D'Argo's DNA, Chiana skips out to where he barfed. The leader traps John and D'Argo while he explains that they are robbing the freedom fighters. He is just about to kill them when Sikozu gets the main cannon to work. They blow the lid off the mountain and Chiana goes looking for the others.

Rygel gets caught and encased in amber, then falls into a lava pit. John works out how to use the robbers' shield belt to protect himself and dives in after. He better hope the shield lasts long enough for the whole fight scene. Chiana saves his butt and Rygel is defrosted. Noranti summons the true Tarkons, who let the crew go. When they get back to the ship, Pilot has left a message: coordinates to meet Moya.

What We Learned

• Everything tastes like chicken.
• Rygel's bowels hate him.
• Can't cook, won't bathe and now she's narcaleptic. Noranti's a triple threat.
• Same drenn. Different planet.
• John and D'Argo have been over Abbott and Costello.
• Chiana put her hands in the vomit, so she gets to fly the ship. If Sikozu wants a turn, she can go and get her own vomit.
• John does not have any small appendages he doesn't need.
• We do not shoot the butt.
• Life sucks. Quite often in fact.
• Damn, this is going to be bad for the sperm count.
• You do not talk about Winona like that.

What Did I Think?

There are an awful lot of body fluids on this show.