Cold Dick

Pretender Episode Review

In which, some days, it doesn't pay to answer your emails.

What Happened

Jarod's in Las Vegas, helping out Argyle, who has quite a story to tell: Argyle was pretending to be the partner of a vanished PI in order to get in good with Mona, a show-girl working for Dirty Willy. Dirty Willy was found hanging in the back of his club. Argyle did not see the killer.

None of this explains why Mona has taken off and her gun-wielding brother is in Dick's office looking for her. Argyle tells Mike that Jarod is Dick and he will find Mona for them. Convinced that Mona is the love of his life, Argyle puppy eyes Jarod into agreeing.

As one might expect, things goes wrong. Jarod winds up nearly dead, but then pulls it off. Argyle gets his show-girl and Jarod arranges for Argyle's dad to play his song for Wayne Newton, fulfilling another of Adela's dying wishes.

Stuck in the Honeymoon Suite, staking out Jarod, Broots imagines a liaison with Miss Parker... until she drags Mr. Raines into it.

What We Learned

• They say luck is a lady. Must be good luck. Bad luck is definitely a man. And he dresses funny.
• Some days, it doesn't pay to answer your emails.
• When you're the Mac Daddy of private eyes, the flying monkeys can't wait to put you on the night train to the Emerald City.
• Argyle's parents named him on account of his birthmark.
• "Argyle is on the case." Five words to send a chill down your spine.
• Wayne Newton is more than a holy man.
• There is no explaining Argyle's suit.
• The sight of Raines in a tiger-print Speedo is indescribable.

Best Lines

Jarod: "As usual, his mouth was writing checks his brain couldn't cash."

Argyle: "Your momma must be real proud of you now boy."
Mike: "No. She'd probably give me a licking."

What Did I Think?

Argyle is definitely an acquired taste, but once in a while it's nice to play the full crazy.