Every Picture Tells a Story

Pretender Episode Review

In which Jarod takes precedence over Thing One and Thing Two.

What Happened

Jarod goes poking around a San Diego Coast Guard station, trying to find out why some poor guy wound up treading water for a day and a half while the rescuers searched in all the wrong places. Tom King died, leaving behind one of those tragic little kiddies that Jarod is always collecting.

LC "Pig" Bilson is eager to welcome Jarod to the Boys Club, making him the obvious suspect. Jarod manages to guilt Bilson's pal Padilla into confessing that they hit King's boat during their weekly drug pick-up. Jarod gets Bilson out on the water alone and lays it out for Bilson, explaining what happened to Tom King. Then, he leaves Bilson treading water and drives off.

By that time, Miss Parker has caught up with him, setting off a boat chase, which is by its nature more interesting than a car chase. When the boats come to a stop, however, nothing is onboard but a DSA addressed to Miss Parker and a pile of fake dog poop.

Huddled at home, she watches the DSA from the day that her mother died.

What We Learned

• Miss Parker's theatrics upset the children.
• Jarod takes precedence over Thing One and Thing Two.
• Patience may be a soothing catch-all with the potato heads in psychogenic services, but Mr. Parker and the boys in the tower equate patience with failure.
• It's the smart ones who always do something stupid.
• Sydney was told that "Jarod" was Jarod's real name.
• The mentally unbalanced will often listen to Wagner. "The Flying Dutchman" is a favorite.
• Jarod was allowed to listen to "The Magic Flute" once as a child.
• Maybe Mozart knew something that Wagner didn't.
• If Jarod wants wit, Miss Parker suggests Noel Coward.
• Jarod is a one man Siegfried and Roy.
• Men have been known to tread water for days.
• Sydney raised Jarod to believe his mind could take him anywhere.

Best Lines

Sydney: "If you ever want to talk..."
Miss Parker: "Correct me if I'm wrong, but wasn't my mother's session with you one of the last things she did before she got in this elevator?"

Miss Parker: "I don't care what it cost."
Broots: "That's good, because Jarod charged your calling card."

What Did I Think?

More pieces of the puzzle. Bilson was forgettable, but leaving him out in the ocean was fitting - and the boat chase was cool.