Gigalo Jarod

Pretender Episode Review

In which if you're lonely, call a 900 number.

What Happened

Jarod becomes the first gigolo in history to actually avoid sleeping with any of his clients. He "satisfies" them enough, however, to get taken on by a real estate developer, Cynthia Sloane. She's about to tear down an apartment tenement in order to build a new office building. The residents are protesting, but it isn't doing any good. After a fire escape collapsed beneath the weight of an eight-year-old boy and dropped him three stories, the building has been condemned. By proving the bricks were tampered with, Jarod guilts Cynthia into calling off the demolition.

In between dealing with Cynthia, Jarod keeps getting sent over to a housewife named Joyce, whose soon-to-be ex-husband is living over her garage. Guessing that Joyce obviously just wants some attention from Howard, Jarod talks her into giving her marriage another chance.

Miss Parker, Sydney and Broots track Jarod to an adult bookstore, where they learn that Jarod has written a romance novel, "The Saddest Little Valentine." We're sure that any resemblance between the cover model and Miss Parker is completely coincidental.

What We Learned

• Chivalry isn't dead, only slightly wounded.
• Safety first. Joyce saw that on MTV.
• Broots has never been in this kind of place before.
• Right. And Miss Parker is president of the PTA.
• Jarod has invented the portable smoke eater.
• Rumor has it Joyce is feeling vaguely unfulfilled.
• Nothing ever is quite what we imagine.
• Jarod needs to lay off the eye-liner and mascara.
• Frank must be alarmingly horny if he thinks he and Cynthia are going to "celebrate" his promotion on the rickety fire escape of a condemned building.

Best Lines

Miss Parker: "If you're lonely, call a 900 number."

What Did I Think?

It's always the second-in-command guy. Why is that?